A disappointing result in Bari last night – a 2-0 defeat away from home against the world champions (official and unofficial now ) is no disgrace, but the manner in which we lost the two goals let us down. Davie Weir and Stephen McManus had both played superbly against Georgia, and although neither had a nightmare against the Italians they really struggled to cope with Luca Toni. He drifted away from McManus to get a free header for the first goal, and from Weir to get a free header for the second goal.

Funniest moment of the evening was Il Duce’s reaction when Shaun Maloney came off the bench and his first two touches were backheels – even in a crowded pub I could hear him mutter “tippy tappy Jimmy Krankie!” – surely a contender for the quiffed one’s new catchphrase!

No match report yet from Sweetcorn and the Iron Chancellor, although we did hear pre-match that they had the superb hospitality of Bari to thank for even getting to the stadium. Surely a tale to tell there. We also heard that the drinks ban was successfully breached by our two intrepid footsoldiers!

European Championship Qualifier vs Italy

The Iron Chancellor and Sweetcorn were our only witnesses as Scotland attempted to unify the official and unofficial world titles – having held the title of unofficial world champions for all of four days. The Wallace, Pizza Hun and Scooter Boy watched the match just down the road from “The Fucking Bastard”, and I believe The Plastic Chancellor watched it from the safety of his wanking chariot.

For four days at least!!!

By beating Georgia on Saturday, we’ve taken back the title which has been rightfully ours since April 1967. Georgia had held this title since beating Uruguay (see www.ufwc.co.uk for details), and it is now back in Scottish hands for the first time in around 20 years. And what’s more – we play the official world champions tomorrow night in a title unification bout!

It’s only a couple of weeks until Eck’s first game in charge of the national team, and the plans are taking shape for our next immersion in Glesga banter. The standard components will all be there – early train with a cairry-oot if we can smuggle it past the Scotrail beaks, square sausage rolls at the Corona, a visit to the chipper on Battlefield Road, standing about in a park drinking whisky, and 90 minutes of champagne football. All washed down with lashings and lashings of broon beer!

KELTA appears to have grown in numbers, as we will again be accompanied by some extras. Ill Bill, Barry Tits, Boaby Russell, Steven The Undertaker, Stevie Baldie and Michael MacLeod will swell our numbers to ten, as four of our full members (SB, PC, TW and PH) are making the trip.

Bring on the unpronounceables!!!